Monday, April 8, 2013

Hating Hating HATING BAD ADS

Saw the recent dumb Cookie ad of Amitabh Horrible doesnt do the product nor the star justice. this is the imagination of our ad exes these days. wonder y they get paid at all. Even my Watchman can ask Amitabh to chastise him and then ask for these cookies only. Sad state of affairs. Using a celeb is lazy advertising. Using him in this bul shit ad is Ad exes sleeping on the damn job.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

My Page Will Post whatever the Hell I LIke TY

The Last 2 days I've been Abused because of my Posts and also been asked very nicely not to posts Artistic nudes on my Page....My reply to the Jackass who abused me for my posts was Delete and BLOCK ME JAckass and several more choice words which i wont subject u nice people to.

The 2nd Person asked me very nicely not to post artistic nudes on my page and I replied very nicely If u dont like my posts please block me take care have a good week....

What makes people poke their nose into my world if they dont like it just delete me and block me...Y be a jerk about it ??

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Its not Worth Nothing Anymore

How dare you suffer these several Joys.
After tying me for an eternity to your sorrows.
How dare you smile, after auctioning off mine for your sins.

You the king of stupidity and inaction.
Laziness drapes you lovingly so.
Movement means death,  stagnating in this rotten purgatory with u seems endless.

My worse nightmares you bring Forth like a daemon set out from hell.
Comfort from you comes in the form of burning resentment dipped into self loathing for a good measure.

If this is life and as it should be.
Then Death seems a kinder accomplishment.

Me always looking into your nothingness, guiding it to the shores of achievement.
Burning life ,blood and my very soul.
Its not Worth Nothing Anymore.......

Friday, April 27, 2012

Style Craze 20000 Worth Free Cosmetics Give AWAY :) Amazingly WOW

The give away includes cosmetics worth 20000 WOW check out the Link......    I am entering and so should you Takes absolutely nothing except a few posts.

My fellow blogger Aasheianaa..... sent me this amazing give away. Thanks for sharing and I am glad I can share it with everyone else as well.....Here is wishing all of us the best of luck to Win too bad we cant all win but here's wishing the best for all

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

A Self-centered Sense of Unworthiness

The Title of this post Hit the Nail on the head for me and I had my own Ah ha moment to steal the phrase from Oprah who I like depending on what shes talking about. I read this post from a fellow blogger Underachiever's Guide to being a Domestic Goddess here's the link and shout out to her for writing the blog post

She talks about reading an article written by Glee's (tv show) Jane Lynch which floored her and me as well as I read the extract on her blog and goggled the article later on.
Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

                                                 The Article is Quoted from :

The actress had spent her life thinking everything was her fault, until a telling encounter forced her to "shine a light" on her issues and take a good look at how she viewed the world.

As a kid, I was convinced that deep down inside, at my core, there was something wrong with me—something fundamentally broken. I constantly apologized, I'd over-thank people, I'd pay more than my share. It was as if I had some kind of deficit and needed to compensate for it.

Then, when I was 14, I started drinking, and I didn't get sober until I was 31. After five years in Alcoholics Anonymous, I met a woman who impressed me. So I asked her to be my sponsor, and she said yes.

That night I walked into a meeting and saw my new sponsor sobbing uncontrollably, with a group of women huddled around her. And my immediate thought was: "What did I do wrong? Did I say something to her? Was I supposed to call her?" And then, "She's upset with me because I'm a bad person." I had only known her for 12 hours! While everyone else was tending to her in her time of need, all I could do was think about what I had done wrong.

Then it struck me: "This has nothing to do with me. Whatever happened was not my fault. I felt a wave of relief, an internal shift that felt like I had just had a chiropractic adjustment. I saw that I had been living with a self-centered sense of unworthiness.

It's significant that I had this epiphany at an AA meeting, because when I took away the booze, all I had left was me. That moment forced me to shine a light on my shadowy areas; it was like turning a huge spotlight on myself. I realized that if I'm obsessing about my own feelings, I'm not present with the people around me—and am frankly of no use to them.

Today, if that instinct to take the blame gets triggered, a mechanism inside me kicks in and asks, "Is this really about you?" It's helped me become a better friend, a better partner, and a more helpful person. It's hard to focus on what someone else needs when you're so focused on what their problem could mean about you! I still have to take a deep breath and collect myself, but I'm no longer so wrapped up in my own feelings that I deprive other people of theirs.

From the June 2010 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine.

Read more:

I myself have always felt like that. I feel the need to provide everything for everyone have everyone I love happy, having everything perfect around me. This has caused me and those around me a lot of stress. As I make it all about everything being perfect and work towards doing that which is not possible .What I loved about the article was, that  it was simple, powerful and seemed to turn the light bulb on in me. I understood and related to it completely. I always wanted to be the perfect daughter to both my parents, the perfect sister, the perfect girlfriend, the perfect student, the perfect everything. This was causing too much pressure on me and all my relationships.
I always take things too personally and try to solve everyone's problems. I took responsibility for everyone and everything around me , that is no way to live. The amount of Guilt I took on Everyday was insurmountable. This Guilt has made me sick, kept me up and made me very very sensitive. In these last few years I have been on my way to drop this baggage that I never forget or forgive myself for. This Article has gone a long way in doing that. Making me understand logically and easily. having an actual phrase that fits the situation perfectly  "A Self-centered Sense of Unworthiness" I do not know the exact reason why this fits so well into me or i fit perfectly into it. But it feels like a good wake up call.  A Wake up call I needed most definitely. People that know me well, know these little idiosyncrasies and those who don't know them in person. Know something about it now :)
Hope this Post helps everyone like it did me. Take care & have a great week.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Skeleton In Her Closet

To the distant speck of life I see , the one who I thought was made for me.
I the skeleton in her closet, her deep dark secret she knows ,but connects not to.
Me the rejected, depraved, unfulfilling unfulfilled,ex lover, hater, stealer.
If only To steal but just a few moments more.
To keep forever frozen with me. 
Just a protection from the nuclear unheaval she bestows on me.
My insides feel torn and pulled apart. 
My life a distant dream. 
Am I alive without her ?
This is not true, is it? she survives without me. 
The very air I breathe turn putrid with hate and contempt.
 Dare I utter the very aching and need I feel. 
My soul a shambles. 
Shattered for everyone to see and mock me.
I am the subject of her ridule. 
Her target. 
No love spews from her heart mind or mouth for me anymore. 
An intence hatered. 
Mocking words I long to hear. 
Just one more meaningless fight for me to cling on to.
Just one more I plead to the heavens.
But no more do I hear her voice, feel her tone caress my body.
Mockingly as it were.
Instead I see her .
Happy, without me.
She thrives blooms suceeds without me. 
My meaningless presence contained her greatness.
I blocked her sunlight, refused her a breath
I was her lead box, her capture.
Without me she lives and loves
I barely survive, thinking of her.
Me the skeleton in her closet ,her deep dark secret and she
Always my distant fantasy.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Moving Day Blues and Miracles :)

Sorry for having been away for a while. Moved to a new place to moving out of the old one, packing moving into the new one has been Hectic. It Basically made me feel crazy moving both home and office together. FYI Never Never do that.
                Glad to have Had a Dream Team with me. The Love of my Life Mr Iyer. His Mom Mrs S. Iyer His Dad Again a Mr. Iyer (who commands a lot of respect and attention but never ever imposes himself )and My loving mother and sister as well. Who rushed last minute got me boxes and did come a little late but all is forgiven. :)
Happy to have left the Bad neighbor downstairs who was giving negative vibes and hassels to all :) so much so People Moved and Left the Society even their Jobs. Cant even imagine what it must be like to live with this Crazy person. If ur new read an old blog post called Bad neighbor and u will get up to speed about the hell she creates for those around her.
                     Had a Few mishaps during the move. Got a Iron nail imbedded  in my Left hand ring finger Yes where the Big engagement Diamond is supposed to go:) its swollen and hurts like a swollen finger apparently (insert bad words here ) didnt want to use bad words but please feel free to use ur imagination :) So right now i'm typing with a Swollen finger Low blood pressure Blurred vision and general weakness but a Heart full of Love and Affection for My Family and The Iyer Family who so kindly adopted me into their fold when me and my Mr Iyer fell in Love :)
                     A little distance from the people things and places we love gives us a unique perspective and a new found Love and Fondness for the people place food thing etc in question. When i was in New york I missed Bombay (mumbai) like Crazy even the food i didn't eat regularly was calling to me :) and now its vice versa for sure :) I had my darling sis get me Burger king Burgers from Bangkok when she went there for her honeymoon that's all me and my Mr Iyer wanted as we were missing it so. A little back story we were studying in School together in New york. But that's not where we met or fell in love :) Being Truthful and honest but not revealing my Secret :) not just yet anyway this calls for another time another post :)
                      The new House has a Peace to it that i really needed and is giving me a sence of calm. For all those that know me see me as a Manic perfectionist so Calm is very much needed in my everyday life. I can be very OCD and Obsessive compulsive when it comes to cleaning and work. :) My sis when we were at our parents place would pretend to sleep when i Started cleaning :) lol those were the good old days when My BP was high .Yelling was a form of communication and throwing things was added entertainment ( my aim was really good a little out of practice now lol )

                 Really need to get back to posting since i missed all u lovely people. Hope its been a Good Time away from me and my rants :) Hope its Great now that I'm back posting and connecting with u. Atleast i hope i am connecting with a few. Let me know ur thoughts ur questions ur life. It would be a fun exchange of lives, ideas, ideal ,hopes, dreams, loves, hates etc. The list is endless. Happy to hear about u so let me know what u think and have been up to.
P.S have to sort out the giveaway do check the previous post for it and hope to find a winner soon