Sunday, March 18, 2012

Skeleton In Her Closet

To the distant speck of life I see , the one who I thought was made for me.
I the skeleton in her closet, her deep dark secret she knows ,but connects not to.
Me the rejected, depraved, unfulfilling unfulfilled,ex lover, hater, stealer.
If only To steal but just a few moments more.
To keep forever frozen with me. 
Just a protection from the nuclear unheaval she bestows on me.
My insides feel torn and pulled apart. 
My life a distant dream. 
Am I alive without her ?
This is not true, is it? she survives without me. 
The very air I breathe turn putrid with hate and contempt.
 Dare I utter the very aching and need I feel. 
My soul a shambles. 
Shattered for everyone to see and mock me.
I am the subject of her ridule. 
Her target. 
No love spews from her heart mind or mouth for me anymore. 
An intence hatered. 
Mocking words I long to hear. 
Just one more meaningless fight for me to cling on to.
Just one more I plead to the heavens.
But no more do I hear her voice, feel her tone caress my body.
Mockingly as it were.
Instead I see her .
Happy, without me.
She thrives blooms suceeds without me. 
My meaningless presence contained her greatness.
I blocked her sunlight, refused her a breath
I was her lead box, her capture.
Without me she lives and loves
I barely survive, thinking of her.
Me the skeleton in her closet ,her deep dark secret and she
Always my distant fantasy.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Moving Day Blues and Miracles :)

Sorry for having been away for a while. Moved to a new place to moving out of the old one, packing moving into the new one has been Hectic. It Basically made me feel crazy moving both home and office together. FYI Never Never do that.
                Glad to have Had a Dream Team with me. The Love of my Life Mr Iyer. His Mom Mrs S. Iyer His Dad Again a Mr. Iyer (who commands a lot of respect and attention but never ever imposes himself )and My loving mother and sister as well. Who rushed last minute got me boxes and did come a little late but all is forgiven. :)
Happy to have left the Bad neighbor downstairs who was giving negative vibes and hassels to all :) so much so People Moved and Left the Society even their Jobs. Cant even imagine what it must be like to live with this Crazy person. If ur new read an old blog post called Bad neighbor and u will get up to speed about the hell she creates for those around her.
                     Had a Few mishaps during the move. Got a Iron nail imbedded  in my Left hand ring finger Yes where the Big engagement Diamond is supposed to go:) its swollen and hurts like a swollen finger apparently (insert bad words here ) didnt want to use bad words but please feel free to use ur imagination :) So right now i'm typing with a Swollen finger Low blood pressure Blurred vision and general weakness but a Heart full of Love and Affection for My Family and The Iyer Family who so kindly adopted me into their fold when me and my Mr Iyer fell in Love :)
                     A little distance from the people things and places we love gives us a unique perspective and a new found Love and Fondness for the people place food thing etc in question. When i was in New york I missed Bombay (mumbai) like Crazy even the food i didn't eat regularly was calling to me :) and now its vice versa for sure :) I had my darling sis get me Burger king Burgers from Bangkok when she went there for her honeymoon that's all me and my Mr Iyer wanted as we were missing it so. A little back story we were studying in School together in New york. But that's not where we met or fell in love :) Being Truthful and honest but not revealing my Secret :) not just yet anyway this calls for another time another post :)
                      The new House has a Peace to it that i really needed and is giving me a sence of calm. For all those that know me see me as a Manic perfectionist so Calm is very much needed in my everyday life. I can be very OCD and Obsessive compulsive when it comes to cleaning and work. :) My sis when we were at our parents place would pretend to sleep when i Started cleaning :) lol those were the good old days when My BP was high .Yelling was a form of communication and throwing things was added entertainment ( my aim was really good a little out of practice now lol )

                 Really need to get back to posting since i missed all u lovely people. Hope its been a Good Time away from me and my rants :) Hope its Great now that I'm back posting and connecting with u. Atleast i hope i am connecting with a few. Let me know ur thoughts ur questions ur life. It would be a fun exchange of lives, ideas, ideal ,hopes, dreams, loves, hates etc. The list is endless. Happy to hear about u so let me know what u think and have been up to.
P.S have to sort out the giveaway do check the previous post for it and hope to find a winner soon